Authoritarian Parents

Authoritarian P arnting The Impact on Children. By Matthew J. Miller, Psy. D. Baumrinds Parenting Styles Parenting Types 1. Authoritarian 2. Authoritative 3. Permissive 4. Neglectful In the too soon 1960s, psychologist Diana Baumrind conducted experiments with upgrades. These experiments were designed to identify and understand how parents differ in their responses to their peasantren. As a result of the Baumrind study as well as further research, quad main styles of parenting were delineated. They are Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive, and Neglectful.Each style has its own characteristics as well as effects on barbarianrens take aimment. This article get out discuss the electrical shock on children of authoritarian parenting. Authoritarian Parenting For Authoritarian parents, rules are often much than important than relationship. Authoritarian parents have m any(prenominal) rules and they enforce them. They expect and strike adherence to high standards. Having high standards for the behavior of children is non necessarily a bad thing. However, the way they go ab f each(prenominal) out achieving these high standards hurts the relationship among the parent and child.The authoritarian parent often fails to explain the reasoning for the rules. In fact, they do not engage in much conversation with their children regarding the rules. When children ask, wherefore? the response is, Because I said so. Not only does authoritarian parenting have-to doe with the current relationship between parent and child, but this type of parenting deal have long-term effects on the mad development of the child horizontal into adulthood. In attachment, the blow of this style of parenting can to a fault be felt in the childs relationship with God.The Current affinity in that location is a strong element of devotion that pervades an authoritarian household. practically a kindred an authoritarian government, in that location is form with rules, but the compliance is typically not out of bonk. Children in an authoritarian home comply out of fear. Fear of punishment and fear of the withholding of affection drives these children to comply. In addition to fear, the child does not feel bedd and accepted by their parents. Children are punished for even minor infractions. frequently, these punishments do not fit the aversion and are overly punitive.Even worse, the punishments often result in relationship consequences which overwhelm a withholding of love and affection from the parents to the child. As a result, the child begins to learn that they are loved and accepted for what they do, preferably than for who they are. legerdemain, a high-school hoops player I met, had this type of relationship with his father. His father would come to all of his games to see him play. While a parents presence at a childs games should be a source of encouragement, for John it was not. If John had a good 2Current Relationship Consequences 1. Fear 2. Lack of love and acceptance 3. Lost opportunities for guidance game, his father was like a talky Kathy doll on the way home. You could not shut him up. On the separate hand, if Johns game did not go as well, at that place was absolute silence. His father would not speak to him. John learned right away that there were conditions placed on him to received love. He was loved if he performed. He was not love if he did not perform. Children raised by authoritarian parents often are compliant with parental rules.Authoritarian parents point to this compliance as evidence that their style of parenting is working. However, as with many things in life, there is an opportunity cost to decisions we make. Growing up is difficult, especially in this twenty-four hour period and age. There are many times that a child will need help and guidance as they plow. When we assay guidance, we tend to seek it from relationships where we feel loved and accepted. Since children of authoritarian home s do not hold up love and acceptance from their parents, they will seek counsel from someone outside the home, or they may seek no counsel at all.While the authoritarian parent may be a good person who has much information to offer, when it comes to the major issues of life, the children do not seek their counsel. Relationship with God Often our run into of God, who Jesus taught us to call Father, is similar to our ensure of our temporal father. Since our earthly father is visible to us We mold our and God is not, we project our image of our earthly father onto our image of our earthly heavenly Father. When children stand up up with demanding authoritarian parents, they often begin to see God the identical way.While father onto our they may be obedient to God, this obedience is out of fear of heavenly Father. punishment rather than a response to acceptance. Real deepen in our lives comes when we feel accepted, not when we fear punishment. As a result, children who grow up with authoritarian parents often have a negative view of God. As was stated above regarding their earthly parents, children who hold an authoritarian view of God will likely not seek to build a deep relationship with Him. We do not seek relationship with those whom we fear. Instead, like Adam and Eve, they will seek to hide from God. Future DevelopmentIn addition to the impact authoritarian parenting has on the current relationship with their parents and their relationship with God, children who grow up in this type of home often meet long-term emotional consequences. These children often have poor social skills, low self-esteem, see red and high rates of depression and anxiety. In addition, although they may remain compliant, they can develop an overall mistrust of authority. There are many reasons why these issues may develop in children with authoritarian parents. In an authoritarian home, compliance is expected, piece of music independence is discouraged.Because they are ta ught to follow rules rather than take initiative, they are more capable of following instructions than becoming leaders. They are taught what to think rather than how to think. As a result, these children remain dependent emotionally into adulthood, sometimes even living in the parental home long after what would be considered emotionally healthy. This lack of independence, twain emotional and physical, can result in low self-esteem. 3 Children growing up in an authoritarian home, like growing up under an authoritarian regime, experience a going away of control over their own lives.When we come to believe that no question what we do, we cannot gain actual control Future Consequences of our own life, eventually a sense of impuissance ensues. This learned helplessness is a major factor in the development of 1. Poor social skills depression. This sense of powerlessness does not leave us when we leave the authoritarian parent. Instead, this becomes a deeply 2. mild self-esteem entr enched view of ourselves that can take years to whip and can impact all future relationships including marital and parenting relationships. 3.Anger Along with a loss of control, children who grow up with 4. Depression authoritarian parents often experience exasperation at how they are being treated. However, their anger is not typically allowed to be 5. Anxiety expressed. Often the expression of any form of anger in an authoritarian home results in punishment. Where does the anger go? There are typically two ways that anger gets expressed. The first is in either active or passive rebellion against the parent, or, in the future, toward any form of authority. The second way that anger gets expressed is that the child turns the anger inward toward themselves.This internalization of anger also leads to depression. One reason why in the United States there is less violence against the government than in other countries is that our countrys laws encourage and protect freedom of speech. When passel feel that their thoughts and feelings have an outlet, they are less prone to resort to violence. When mess are not free to express themselves, they will tend toward helplessness or rebellion. Finally, children who are raised by authoritarian parents often experience increased anxiety.Because wrong decisions result in harsh punishments, they develop what Freud would discover as an overactive superego. The superego, according to Freud, is the moral branch of personality. It develops to guide us to make right decisions and to avoid punishments. For Christians, the superego includes the Holy Spirit. However, the Holy Spirit is not our only guide to determine the rightness or wrongness of our actions. The superego also includes the internalized values of the important people and structures (like the law) of our lives.As the number of rules increase, so does the superego. Anxiety is both an internal and external manifestation of the struggle to avoid real or perceived punis hment. For those with an enlarged superego, the superego acts like the boulder chasing Indiana Jones chasing us by means of our lives. In upcoming articles, the three other parenting styles will be discussed on with their impact on children. All Rights Reserved (2010). The Center for Christian instruction & Relationship Development, L. L. C. Pavilions at Greentree, Ste. 303, 12000 Lincoln Dr. W. , Marlton, NJ 08053. (856) 396-0111. 4